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My head officially feels like it's actually spinning and smoke is coming out of my ears and it's about to fall off and just roll away..... In less than 4weeks, I've accepted not doing so well at my A-level exams after trying so bloody hard, not getting my place at university, convincing myself that doing a degree isn't such a bad route, mentally preparing myself to move away then in less than 48hours, deciding to withdraw my place from university, look for a job, do some volunt...
My head officially feels like it's actually spinning and smoke is coming out of my ears and it's about to fall off and just roll away.....
In less than 4weeks, I've accepted not doing so well at my A-level exams after trying so bloody hard, not getting my place at university, convincing myself that doing a degree isn't such a bad route, mentally preparing myself to move away then in less than 48hours, deciding to withdraw my place from university, look for a job, do some volunteer work, possibly resit some exams and reapply for university next year for a course which is a direct route into teaching. And this is only the start of it all. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
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(I wrote this last year and just now found it again, hope you enjoy it.) Teacher: Take a moment to close your eyes and think of the number 1. (in head) voice 1: Why do we hafve to do this? voice 2: Because he said so. voice 1: But what is the point of... argh! I just thought of one! voice 2: Me too! (giggle) voice 3: Dude, don't think man. Just one. voice 1: I ain't gonna... !! Oww. I hit a wall. voice 2: one, one, one, one... voice 1: Shut u...
(I wrote this last year and just now found it again, hope you enjoy it.)
Teacher: Take a moment to close your eyes and think of the number 1.
(in head) voice 1: Why do we hafve to do this? voice 2: Because he said so. voice 1: But what is the point of... argh! I just thought of one! voice 2: Me too! (giggle) voice 3: Dude, don't think man. Just one. voice 1: I ain't gonna... !! Oww. I hit a wall. voice 2: one, one, one, one... voice 1: Shut up, ouch! Another wall! voice 3: One, man. voice 1: No!!!!... (voice breaks off) voice 2: Hehe, he hit it hard... One! voice 3: Knocked him out...
Teacher: Now how many directions did your mind wander?
(in head) voice 2: well... I didn't go too far. voice 3: Ouch... voice 1: (moans) voice 2: Guys? Am I the only one that remembered one? Hehe, oh well. Girls rule!
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I can understand why someone might feel this life is a sentence, but no--it's a trial--a test.1 Peter 4: 12. Bad things do happen to good people." There is no reincarnation. We are placed in the world and we have once chance to attain unto the treasure of being in heaven forever with our Loving, heavenly Father. It is appointed unto man once to die and after that the judgment." Hebrews 9:27." Many are the afflictions of the...
I can understand why someone might feel this life is a
sentence, but no--it's a trial--a test.1 Peter 4: 12. Bad things
do happen to good people." There is no reincarnation. We are
placed in the world and we have once chance to attain unto
the treasure of being in heaven forever with our Loving,
heavenly Father. It is appointed unto man once to die and
after that the judgment." Hebrews 9:27."
Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers
him out of them all." Psalm 34:19. God will deliver you or any
of His own who trust in Him. We need to cry out in our
affliction and He will answer us and deliver us. " The Lord is
near to all who call upon Him; to those who call upon Him in
truth. Psalm 145: 18. If we praise Him in our trouble [ which is
hard sometimes, I know ] He will fill us with His holy Presence
and give us victory. Read 2 Chronicles 1- 30. It tells of when King Jehoshaphat was faced with a great army of
opposition, but God delivered Him and His people as they
praised God in the battle. God will fight the enemy for you, as
you praise Him in this battle. There are many lessons to be
learned from the bible. This is a very important one for us to
know.
Psalm 22:3. Trust in the Lord and He will give you His presence and His protection and victory. Psalm 125 :1-2. " Those who trust in the Lord shall be as mount Zion, which
can not be moved, but abides forever. As the mountains
surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds His people."
We are in a spiritual battle and "the weapons of our warfare
are not carnal, but mighty through God, to the pulling down of
strongholds." 2 Corinthians 10: 4." Casting down vain
imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against
the knowledge of God, and bringing every thought into the
captivity to the obedience of Christ." The enemy attacks our
lives through troubles and throws fiery darts at our minds, to
try to get us to lose our faith. We must renew our minds with
God's word everyday, by meditating and praying and reading
God's word. Ephesians 4: 23. As you wait upon the Lord, He will
strengthen you for the battles you face and give you victory.
Is...
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it's the bloody tears again they won't stop i miss her i miss her i miss her i'm off for a drive now.
it's the bloody tears again they won't stop
i miss her i miss her i miss her
i'm off for a drive now.
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Daddy, Paul left again this morning to go be with his other new family in the Phillipines. They had a get together for him last night at Melanie's house. I couldn't go because you were not there daddy, and I am still too emotional and hurt to go. Kim and Buddy went though.
Daddy, Paul left again this morning to go be with his other new family in the Phillipines. They had a get together for him last night at Melanie's house. I couldn't go because you were not there daddy, and I am still too emotional and hurt to go. Kim and Buddy went though. They all sat around watching football and you know how that is with James and Paul. Just couldn't deal with it right now. I didn't go see Paul off this morning either. I am so angry with him daddy for leaving all of us, especially Jessica. Buddy also went and said Jessica was very upset screaming and crying for her daddy. Charlotte is very mad and upset with him. She put him in his place though. Monica is hurt and very sad. He is the only living brother they both have and now he is gone to the other side of the country. I have so much hate for Paul right now daddy and I already do not like his new wife. I am sorry I feel this way daddy but so much anger and hate is built up in me right now. Soon it will all heal though. Mike is taking me later out for a ride. He is taking such good care of me daddy. Don't worry I am in good hands. Love and miss you to pieces daddy!!! 09/05/201...
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Well daddy I went to my first grieving group meeting thursday night,(09/02/2010). I talked about how such a good, loving man you are and how much you were a comedian. Always picking and joking with me and others. It helped...
Well daddy I went to my first grieving group meeting thursday night,(09/02/2010). I talked about how such a good, loving man you are and how much you were a comedian. Always picking and joking with me and others. It helped me alot daddy. I felt as if a huge weight was lifted off my shoulder to be able to say what I feel to others I didn't even know. This doesn't mean I have forgotten you or am over you daddy. That will never be. They are just trying to help me cope with it better than I have been. So many of my friends and family here on AP have been so wonderful daddy and so very supportive. Even thought I can't see them face to face I feel I know them all like they were my real family. They are special to me daddy but you already know that. I love you daddy and miss you like crazy!!!! 09/05/2010
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I have given all my love...no1 has given any back, so i have nothing left to give...... if i could only find my Emo love...then maybe i will come out of my slump.......
I have given all my love...no1 has given any back, so i have nothing left to give...... if i could only find my Emo love...then maybe i will come out of my slump.......
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Hey Stranger,(or should i say jennifer) hmm i sure u remember well...just like i remember you now Relaspe is a bitch is it not, such a pain to remember evrything even just the little parts or the fact that i used to love you or that we used to b friends, willingful to risk my life for you day after day fighting back your condition.... its quite understandly that you couldnt love me but now i see that it wasnt only me that we werent just meant to be anything at all except...
Hey Stranger,(or should i say jennifer)
hmm i sure u remember well...just like i remember you now Relaspe is a bitch is it not, such a pain to remember evrything even just the little parts or the fact that i used to love you or that we used to b friends, willingful to risk my life for you day after day fighting back your condition....
its quite understandly that you couldnt love me but now i see that it wasnt only me that we werent just meant to be anything at all except strangers.. i sure you life can always b better then mine, not saying that it wont b cz we both kno it will, sadly live your life and all that you may b without me watching closely behind you ill follow my dreams and keep my path straight and you do the same cz when god is ready he'll cross us over again...forget about me evrything my name, my face, just evrything that reminds you of me it'll keep away ur anxiety and other things so now you dont hav to worry about me if i die or not b cz im nothin to you now just live your life without knowing i ever existed....
just know for me...its hard to 4get anyhting anymore and i dont hate u i found it quite impossible from the start and i did for a while until i finally slept like i was dead nothin can b forgotten...our used to b friendship and our used to be relationship but me leaving is for the better and for both of us and 2 live ur life fully ur gona hav 2 leave here to srry its just the truth, i dont mean to yell and i dont mean to fight with u but just kno in my heart u wont b forgotten this is more an apology letter after i relapsed for my bitter attitude towards you in our friendship so im srry u wont b forgotten
Sincerely,
Andre' Roberto Lebron Abernathy(Darling-November117)
P.S. heres a song that should help u forget
Thanks For The Memories by Fall Out Boy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hexhm0rrv-o
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my boyfriend asked me to mary him yesterday.i'm super happy. i was so shocked. cuz we didn't have contact for a while there and he gave me his cell # a few days ago. omg...i can't belive it. i'm goin 2 see him when i can go get a job and a car. i love him with everything that i have!!!!!!!! i'm super happy. lolz..but i don't know when i'll see him. i have 2 go 2 Wisconsin 2 see him. i wish all i had 2 do was just go across town but nope..i gotta go 2 wiscon...
my boyfriend asked me to mary him yesterday.i'm super happy. i was so shocked. cuz we didn't have contact for a while there and he gave me his cell # a few days ago. omg...i can't belive it. i'm goin 2 see him when i can go get a job and a car. i love him with everything that i have!!!!!!!! i'm super happy. lolz..but i don't know when i'll see him. i have 2 go 2 Wisconsin 2 see him. i wish all i had 2 do was just go across town but nope..i gotta go 2 wisconsin.
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Title pretty much sums it up...up their British arses, with all of our catharsis! Style-less, pasty, white fucks! Binde fotzes!
Title pretty much sums it up...up their British arses, with all of our catharsis! Style-less, pasty, white fucks! Binde fotzes!
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Why am I feeling this way? My head feels like a beehive with a million buzzing bees. Each thought no able to stay still, each indication that anything is wrong sending waves of pain through my body. The first day the pain came, it was like an explosion through my chest, making it impossible for me to breathe. My head felt dizzy and for the first time in over a year I saw little dancing stars i...
Why am I feeling this way? My head feels like a beehive with a million buzzing bees. Each thought no able to stay still, each indication that anything is wrong sending waves of pain through my body. The first day the pain came, it was like an explosion through my chest, making it impossible for me to breathe. My head felt dizzy and for the first time in over a year I saw little dancing stars in my vision. Trying to sit through the pain, rubbing at my head waiting for it to subside, was pure torture. I didn't understand why it came on so suddenly out of nowhere; a steady dull ache in my chest that grew and grew until it was an agonizing pain. I went to lay down, taking deep breathes, burrowing my head into my pillow until soon I was sobbing into it. My mother made me get up out of bed and walk around to see if it would make the pain fade. All throughout that day, the pain came and went. Never getting as bad as it had at the earliest point in the morning when I had been sobbing over it. I lay in bed all night, the pain coming and going; my sister talking to me through it until I finally fell asleep. The next morning I woke up, still with that pain. Taking a shower I found it hard to focus on showering, while holding onto the shower door feeling the most exhausted I had in years. My chest aching, finding it hard to even breathe, taking that shower felt like an eternity. I slept on the couch all day, watching one movie after another. Laughing, crying, grimacing as each one brought out a different emotion. It took me a while to realize there was no pain, and I could breathe easily. The day went by fast and pain-free, until around nighttime my mother and I got into a fight. I don't even remember what it was over, but as the screaming started the pain came back tenfold. I took two pain pills like I had the first day, and crawled back into bed; The pain radiating through my body, making me cry. Only then did my thoughts turn to the previous day. Remembering when the pain had started, and ultimately why it had started made my pain worsen. I picked up a pen off of my nightstand and started clicking it; on and off, on and off. When ever I started thinking about any o...
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there is so much pain in this world, we all feel it, we all bitch about it, i'm one of those bitchers. it's so easy to. every one seems to have lost their meaning to life. the meaning to life is not a one answer fits all type of thing. you have to find your reason, your meaning to life. mine is my daughter and my husband. i need to keep reminding myself of that. i lose sight of that more often than i'd like to admit. man kind needs to learn to be kind to each other once again. when our neighb...
there is so much pain in this world, we all feel it, we all bitch about it, i'm one of those bitchers. it's so easy to. every one seems to have lost their meaning to life. the meaning to life is not a one answer fits all type of thing. you have to find your reason, your meaning to life. mine is my daughter and my husband. i need to keep reminding myself of that. i lose sight of that more often than i'd like to admit. man kind needs to learn to be kind to each other once again. when our neighbor's house burns to the ground, give him lodging and food and help him to rebuild it. when your friends loved one has died, let them cry until there's no water left in their bodies, then let them cry some more. give them more opportunities to cross that bridge than they can handle, but don't push them or they will surely fall. when your heart is lost, raise your hand above the mist and ask for help. when death has come to you sooner than you wanted, embrace it. you will find a grander adventure, and a better place to have it in (cuz anywhere is better than here, right?) how sad, to feel that anywhere is better than here. this is our home, and we've destroyed it. we've destroyed each other. we've destroyed ourselves. we need to make this a better place to live. we won't be here for long, so why not make the best of it? i love you. you are my brother, my sister, my son, my daughter, my mother, my father and i love you. sure i don't know you, but i'd like to. i don't want to marry you or make love to you, but i love you. you are alone, come into my arms, i will share my warmth with you. your face is wet with tears, let me dry them for you, again and again and again. i love you. do you love me too?
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you know I don't bitch often but iam bitching right now but I mean after so many kicks to the balls or being gutted and having to start over and over again really just feels like shit i am sure i am not the only one but i am allowing myself this one pissed off moment to rant so i don't break something okay lets start here after 10years of fighting to be with the one person in this world that really loves you yo...
you know I don't bitch often but iam bitching right now
but I mean after so many kicks to the balls or being gutted and having to start over and over again
really just feels like shit i am sure i am not the only one but i am allowing myself this one pissed off moment to rant so i don't break something
okay
lets start here
after 10years of fighting to be with the one person in this world that really loves you you keep fighting just to be able to utter their name and not get in a heap of trouble and pain then after 3 more years and finally your able to see that person but you have to fight another year to live with them
then when you go to live with them and your step grandmother/ only mother figure and everything is great and your getting ahead then you have to go and justify why your happy and why you you can't be with your cold robot father and tell him all the abuse you got from your mother and that he abandoned you because he didn't want to be a father and so on and so on
then....
that mother figure goes psychotic schizophrenic and manic on the same level your abusive birth mother did and calls the police kicks you out and attacks you because she thinks you killed her and her entire family all the while you get flash backs of every pain done to you and your just screaming please stop please stop give me back the person i know while the next day she pleads beg for u not the leave then 30 mins late is bitter and still hates you and curses u
and 30 mins later your taking her to the hospital because she collasped and shattered glass everywhere and is epileptic then you go in the ambulance while she's screaming and crying and at the hospital no one is helping her and she's getting worse and worse until you have to threaten someone to get them to help
3 days later she's in the ward she calls up every one and every authority to put you in jail for elder abuse then in a day you sell your most prized possessions your cats and you pack your clothes in a rented storage because the dying car can only fit a few things
the next day you drive around with only 200 dollars to your name with no where to go
then a distant distant relative of your mates calls up and says you can stay in her trailer for 2 months and maybe...
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Well.. tommorw I'll be leaving to go Bryans house.. His mom finally talked me into it, I suppose, even though I was suppose to go there a while back, but they are coming to get me tommorw evening! Since I'm a promoter and I told her that...
Well.. tommorw I'll be leaving to go Bryans house.. His mom finally talked me into it, I suppose, even though I was suppose to go there a while back, but they are coming to get me tommorw evening! Since I'm a promoter and I told her that I was I will be able to get on the computer a lot more then from the first time I was there.. so no worries, I might just not be on allpoetry for a while, but heck who knows? I do have a lot of contests going on, so ya never know.. http://www.myspace.com/faithwithinpromos Anyways, Just thought that I would let everyone know that I talk to!! -hugs-
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Thursday is going to be so bad I just know it already. I dreamt of nothing but Con’s leaving ROA and one dream I could so see happening. It involved me meeting him and just crying in front of him. That is definitely going to happen on Thurs, whether or not I do get to meet him. I’m glad I’m only working two days next week. I don’t wanna deal with idiots then be so sad on Thursday. I remember back in June one of the nights I met Con after the show he rubbed my back to calm me dow...
Thursday is going to be so bad I just know it already. I dreamt of nothing but Con’s leaving ROA and one dream I could so see happening. It involved me meeting him and just crying in front of him. That is definitely going to happen on Thurs, whether or not I do get to meet him. I’m glad I’m only working two days next week. I don’t wanna deal with idiots then be so sad on Thursday.
I remember back in June one of the nights I met Con after the show he rubbed my back to calm me down cause I got nervous around him. Why do I so see that happening on Thurs. Though I won’t be nervous, I’ll be hysterically crying instead.
Thirty Days of Television
Day 07 - Least favorite episode of your favorite tv show
I forgot what the name of it was but in Dukes of Hazzard it was the one with the alien coming to visit. That was the one I hated the most.
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Okay so yeah! I'm promoting.. House Of Glass So leave a comment and tell me what you think of this video &nb...
Okay so yeah! I'm promoting.. House Of Glass So leave a comment and tell me what you think of this video Thanks! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDBxF_tDP8w Check me out here: http://www.myspace.com/faithwithinpromos Check House of Glass out here: http://www.myspace.com/myhouseofglass?actp=n%2b0prKAebczfG13CmB%2fL170xxzjSK8k%2f19igSi%2f1c3vFrKSdG4VwAe0JTCVeV1%2bSGyWHazl1pr5llc8tLJ1AQSrEvdbODgL9QUgekK7wU4qKr20Y4K1AT1Wj8DLN96AFHCiO3xjKXcGKkSTTTs4qiMSMcZfHWhyGgMzbQDA2tDabVccu4w4Ze7Pn%2bMSCbc4%2biC%2fxJSORDsSKq11PkKXy9oWqUfSYaoSb8tbYyACPhI%2biUcngHxANNHr0LgRrL3lB leave me some love down there
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whenever i text someone or talk to them, i always be sure to ask them how they are. just so they know that i care, that there is someone to listen if needed, so that they no that they have someone. People always joke around about me doing that since i am the only one who does. Well i only do it wishing people would ask me the same thing and that i would have the balls to actually tell them what is going on.
whenever i text someone or talk to them, i always be sure to ask them how they are. just so they know that i care, that there is someone to listen if needed, so that they no that they have someone. People always joke around about me doing that since i am the only one who does. Well i only do it wishing people would ask me the same thing and that i would have the balls to actually tell them what is going on.
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not sure if anyone knows but me, my gf annie(dres-girl2010) and my lovely sister Chrysyde(xxMyKissToBetray) are gona make a song/poem post-hardcore duet song called and dedicated to my username Darling-Nightmare117(the 117 stands for Jan. 17th which right now has a purpose) so anyway but i need some ppl help on it besides theirs but, help us come up with some of the lyrics and plz relate to the song title "Darling-November" if u hav any ideas to help us out plz send me a message with ur lyric...
not sure if anyone knows but me, my gf annie(dres-girl2010) and my lovely sister Chrysyde(xxMyKissToBetray) are gona make a song/poem post-hardcore duet song called and dedicated to my username Darling-Nightmare117(the 117 stands for Jan. 17th which right now has a purpose) so anyway but i need some ppl help on it besides theirs but, help us come up with some of the lyrics and plz relate to the song title "Darling-November" if u hav any ideas to help us out plz send me a message with ur lyrics included:
just in case u hav no lyrics in idea listen to some of these bands below;
Asking Alexandria Escape The Fate Bless The Fall Slipknot Bullet For My Valentine etc...
but plz hurry we need the lyrics so we can form it in2 a duet, b cz i dont hav many days left on this site(i blame ppl that hate me) but this will b the last poem and or journal that i might post on her until the song is finish so i may live my life without the drama this site comes with so o well the song will b strictly dedicated to my username, the ppl who help us, and to love; relationships, lost friendships etc...thats y its a duet but dont forget
Thx Guys
Sincerely,
Darling-November117(also known as lead guitarist of the band A Sadistic Darling and Lyricist of Quarintine)
P.S.
if u cant get a hold of me on here plz kno i also hav a facebook; Andre' Darling-November Nightmarex and a yahoo instant messenger; Master_dre13@yahoo.com send me a friend request or shoot me an IM at any time if u need anything thx
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by Walking Oxymoron
2 days ago, In Death, Depression, Family, Life, Love, Noguest, Other, Pain, Personal, Sad.
1,000 words.
All.
4 comments.
Watching this movie, 'Evening'. This story of two daughters 'finding themselves', whilst their mother is slowly dying upstairs, ill with what appears to be cancer. This sto...
Watching this movie, 'Evening'. This story of two daughters 'finding themselves', whilst their mother is slowly dying upstairs, ill with what appears to be cancer. This story whereby the mother in question lies in a bed, sees people her daughters can't see, talks of memories past, reminiscing on her life... and communicating in words that no-one can understand but her. We see this woman, this strong person, a vivacious young lady's decline, how she became this woman we see now, a slowly collapsing body, the skin on her puckered mouth drawn inwards with each breath she takes... the daughters looking on because they don't know what to expect, how to take it... They realize they never really knew their mother at all. You can see them hurting, feeling, longing for more time. Seperate scenes in which they demonstrate their love, share their memories, ask for a token, a reminder that she's still the same person inside. ...
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"most people want to be the sun that brightens your day, but I'd rather be the moon that shine's down on you in your darkest hour"
"most people want to be the sun that brightens your day, but I'd rather be the moon that shine's down on you in your darkest hour"
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okay so my boyfriend and i have been strong for the past year and he just recently (2 days ago) told me that he got pictures from another girl of her full naked body. what do i do????
okay so my boyfriend and i have been strong for the past year and he just recently (2 days ago) told me that he got pictures from another girl of her full naked body. what do i do????
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Well first off those who don't know what a promoter is here is what we do: A promoter helps underground bands online become popular in a particular crowd or so. Please be polite, we take care of bands. Groupies do not care, they only like a band if they are huge - we promoters help make them huge. Okay!! well that sums it up!!
Well first off those who don't know what a promoter is here is what we do: A promoter helps underground bands online become popular in a particular crowd or so. Please be polite, we take care of bands. Groupies do not care, they only like a band if they are huge - we promoters help make them huge. Okay!! well that sums it up!! So I am happy! I'm helping out a couple of bands right now, They are House Of Glass and Nexilva both are awesome and fantastic bands. I am going to be working with more soon. I would like to say thanks to: This Is Halloween, She helped me get into what I have always wanted to do. I love doing what I do, I feel like somebody when I do what I do. If that made any sense at all, but its the truth! So as long as I thought it made sense... Here is her link: www.myspace.com/rockthatscene CHECK HER OUT!!! ^_^
So anyways.. Yeah! Its awesome working with the bands! I hope that one day which I am sure that I will get to meet them! All the ones I help out I would love to meet, I think that would be super sweet and super awesome. A Little Bit I Know About The Bands Anyways- House Of Glass- He is awesome, He just don't care about his music he also cares about his fans, He is awesome singer!! If you wanna check him out which I think that you should here is the link: Check HIM OUT- http://www.myspace.com/myhouseofglass
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First of all, I want to thank everyone who sent messages via LiveJournal, Twitter, Facebook, AllPoetry, AIM, Skype, email and text message. The fact that so many of you cared enough to get in touch is heartwarming, and I appreciate everyone's well-wishes. For those who are sitting there going, "Who? What? What's she on about now?" - this morning at 4.35am local time, New Zealand was hit by an earthquake measuring 7.1 on the Richter scale. (It was originally reported at 7.4, but was l...
First of all, I want to thank everyone who sent messages via LiveJournal, Twitter, Facebook, AllPoetry, AIM, Skype, email and text message. The fact that so many of you cared enough to get in touch is heartwarming, and I appreciate everyone's well-wishes.
For those who are sitting there going, "Who? What? What's she on about now?" - this morning at 4.35am local time, New Zealand was hit by an earthquake measuring 7.1 on the Richter scale. (It was originally reported at 7.4, but was later downgraded). The quake was centralised 30 kilometres (18 miles) west of Christchurch, which is where I live and is also the largest city in the South Island of New Zealand.
For context, the Haiti earthquake in January was 7.0.
I have made a round up post about today’s earthquake in my city, and I’ll be keeping on top of breaking information with addendums as required.
Again, thank you so much for your well-wishes and support, and please feel free to link this post anywhere you feel is appropriate if you know anyone who wants to keep abreast of these events.
As always, I can be contacted at kiwiana.inked@gmail.com.
Search synonyms for Personal: close live different minute express individual private specific physical actual lawyer
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