- Member since March 3.
- My mood is
 , and quote is "Heh, heh, heh...".
- I am a
15 year old
person
- I support the site as a gold member
- I am in the groups As Darkness Falls, Bluewolfs Pack, Dragon riders, Song of the Mistress, Stream of Valleys A Dog and Wolf Rp, Warrior Cats-New Generation, Warrior Cats-New Generation, Wolves of the Shadows, gems of power
- I have 44 poems, 4 stories, 1 philosophy, 4 journals
My other items
- The Rose Garden at storywrite
I sat on the edge of the curb behind my parents' car, a silver Toyota Corolla, with my head between my knees. My tears had long since dried out; I could feel the cold tracks they'd left behind on my cheeks. As I raised my hea
- Isabelle Moon at storywrite
11
- The Silver Records: Zero Tolerance at storywrite
Prologue1
My journal entries
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May 8,
100 words.
All.
0 comments.
Fucking hell. I'm wading into waters I've never gone into before, and I feel so completely damn lost. I don't know what to do, what to feel, what to say... I think I'm going insane. I don't really know. So much crap is going on in my head and my heart, I don't know if I'll ever be able to sort myself out. If only there was an easy answer, but there never is, is there...?
Fucking hell. I'm wading into waters I've never gone into before, and I feel so completely damn lost. I don't know what to do, what to feel, what to say... I think I'm going insane. I don't really know. So much crap is going on in my head and my heart, I don't know if I'll ever be able to sort myself out. If only there was an easy answer, but there never is, is there...?
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May 6,
900 words.
All.
0 comments.
The title isn't so much about me as it is for others. Alright fine; it's about me just as much. It is for us that I now write. There's so much shit going on in the world, I guess it just can't help but sling itself onto someone who really doesn't need it. Outside, I'm barely betraying what I feel, but within, I want to cry my heart out until I can no longer see, I want to rip apart malicious faces with greed in their eyes as they relish the suffering they inflict, I want to hold someone tende...
The title isn't so much about me as it is for others. Alright fine; it's about me just as much. It is for us that I now write. There's so much shit going on in the world, I guess it just can't help but sling itself onto someone who really doesn't need it. Outside, I'm barely betraying what I feel, but within, I want to cry my heart out until I can no longer see, I want to rip apart malicious faces with greed in their eyes as they relish the suffering they inflict, I want to hold someone tenderly in my arms for hours, and just be with them. The list goes on forever, but I don't think it could ever get across the depth of feeling I feel right now. I feel so lost and alone, so confused. I'm pretty sure that if I told my mom or someone else the truth of what I really feel, they'd say some bullshit like, "Oh, it's just a teenage thing; you'll get over it." What a load of crap. If they said that, I'm also pretty sure I'd want to do something like rip their freaking head off, but then, my very nature represses such violent acts. Sometimes I wish I weren't so caring, or so nice. Sometimes I wish I were the meanest asshole the planet has ever seen; maybe then the shit-slinging would leave me alone. But no, wrong again. I'm not. I'm just basically drowning in my own fucking sludge, as I have been ever since I was five. Nothing's changed about that, really; same self-hate comments from the extremely loud and not so little voice in my head; same longings, knowing that they'll most likely never be fulfilled; same thoughts of suicide, wondering how best to do myself in and make a statement to the world at the same time: "You never gave a fuck anyways, so you won't miss me at all." And all this at the same time while I'm hurting for myself and about a dozen other people, people who I feel a deep-seated need to comfort desperately, to love them, and have their love in return. I've sort of given up hope on people, though, just as I've left myself to rot in a nice, moldy grave. I've only gotten nice things from them so sparingly, and they were so fleeting, that they're quickly swallowed up by the agony and rage of my past. Tender feelings mixed with violent ones; that tends to screw me over big time. The last time I let it all out in racking, sobbing pain was last year, several months before the end. Sure, I've loved people before, but guess what I got back? Contempt for who I am and just about nothing else. All I want to do is just curl up into a ball and disappear for ...
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What we call the past can only be remembered Now-what we call the future, we should not contemplate so much, as it has not yet happened, but it can only be thought of Now. One of the best ways to be rooted completely completely in the Now and to take your thoughts away from all that useless mental noise in your head is to focus solely on your breathing. Notice how your lungs expand, and the inrush of air in the in-breath, and the outrush of air and the decreasing size of the lungs, and then t...
What we call the past can only be remembered Now-what we call the future, we should not contemplate so much, as it has not yet happened, but it can only be thought of Now. One of the best ways to be rooted completely completely in the Now and to take your thoughts away from all that useless mental noise in your head is to focus solely on your breathing. Notice how your lungs expand, and the inrush of air in the in-breath, and the outrush of air and the decreasing size of the lungs, and then the small pause afterwards before the next in-breath. If you feel your mind's focus wandering, don't worry; just come back to your breathing. As you do this, and start to notice your breathing more often, it will deepen to take in more air (many people's breathing is unnaturally shallow). The purpose of this will be evident if done when the person is in a highly emotionally-charged area (meaning, if two people are arguing, fighting, etc.); it helps to calm the mind, and to bring your focus back to your body and away from your head; this is a simple form of meditation, and can be done everywhere at anytime, not just in a highly emotionally-charged area. The more you do this, the more you will see that time is essentially an illusion, though a beautiful one in many ways, and that it is somewhat irrelevant to living. Don't take me wrong, though: we learn because of time; time gives us memories to look through.
(I thank Eckhart Tolle's book 'A New Earth' for these words, and although they have not been directly copied from the mentioned work, they are paraphrased and not my own original ideas.)
Guest Book
1 - 4 of 4
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Quick Silver as in from the BrotherHood?
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I wanna ask you to join my group Foret Noir.
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Your quote sounds like you just did something you shouldn't have XD
And aellos
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Hi! 
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